Things Every Thief Should Know
by BlackMoonKitsune
Summary: Hello, you've just bought yourself a copy of Things Every Thief Should Know: A Sort of Guide for Thieves by Yoko Kurama with commentary by Kori! Congratgulations! Please enjoy. WE ARE NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING DONE WHILE READING THIS.


**BMK:** I was bored one night and came up with this, but I'm redoing this and posting it on FanFiction. So this is mostly humor and stupid randomness. But I LOVE randomness, it's my life.

**Things To Know:**

Kori - **"talk"**

Yoko - talk

Rules - _talk

* * *

_

Hi, I'm Yoko Kurama. Yoko for short. Also known as the King of Thieves. Yippee. In case you haven't figured in the first few seconds, I've been forced to do this because Kori won't got to bed with me until I do this for BlackMoonKitsune, also known as BMK.

**"YOU PERVERT! I'LL NEVER GET IN THE SAME BED WITH YOU!"**

In case you haven't figured that out, Kori's screaming at me because she doesn't want our relationship known for public knoweledge.

**"WE HAVE NO RELATIONSHIP! STICK TO THE DAMN SCRPT, BAKA!"**

If I write it down that you have to kiss me in the script, then will you?

**"NO!"**

But it's in the script.

**"I SAID NO! BAKA HENTAI KITSUNE!"**

Can't the readers decide if I can kiss you or not? If they believe its in the script, then we should kiss.

**"YOKO KURAMA! READ THE DAMN SCRIPT!"**

Alright, Kit. You're moody again. So, where was I... Yes, I'm doing this for BMK to tell you about things every thief should know, or at least what I heard.

* * *

**Things Every Thief Should Know:**

**A (Sort Of) Handbook For Thieves, Old and New**

**By:** _Yoko Kurama, the King of Thieves_

**Commentay By:** _Kori, the Black Rose_

_1) Betrayel is the highest sin; do not betray unless betrayed or life is lost. _

In other words don't betray your trusted friends or "your screwed", as Kit likes to say. Of course there are exceptions, as it points out, if your betrayed or you lost a friend or family member's life.

**"Give examples or tips or something else, Yoko."**

Yes, koibito.

**"Yoko, I am warning you..."**

Example # 1- If Kori went against my word, nothing much, although I would be upset. If Kori left me for someone else, I would feel betrayed and go after the son of a bi- Don't even give me that look. Its an example.

**"Yeah, but not for theives! Stick with the subject."**

Example # 2- If you are turned in by someone who you trusted, say the local barman and you thought that he would keep your secret because you'd agreeded to that, you've been betrayed and go kill the bastard for doing that. Than run for your life because the hunters wil be after you.

**"Better."**

_2) It is not a sin to be a thief. It is a sin to be a criminal. _

To put it simpler, DON'T GET CAUGHT.

Example # 1- I steal something, no one notices until its gone. They don't automaically think its me.

Example # 2- I steal smothing, someone notices me take it. They have caughten me in the act and now I'm a criminal. I could possibly, if they get their hands on me, get thrown in jail. And my koi would miss me.

**"YOKO... If you mean me, I'll-"**

_3) What is mine is mine to be protected; what is yours I can steal, unless caught. _

If someone goes after something of yours, protect it. If its someone elses go after it, but as mentioned before: DON'T GET CAUGHT.

Example # 1- If someone goes after your treasure, protect it. They don't need it, you do. Besides, you risked your ass to steal it in the first place.

Example # 2- Go after someone's treasures, unless you know and trust them. Rich people don't need it, thieves need it. Besides those bastards can get another one.

You know, Kori, you would be consider a treasure of-

**"I can protect myself."  
**  
So you're not going to argue that you're not mine? I knew you loved me.

**"Yoko, you and your sick little perverted mind need to get a life. I love you, but as a friend. GET IT THROUGH YOUR THICK SKULL!"**

_4) Accept no apoligies; say no fogivenesses. Actions speak for themselves. _

Well, I think you get the meaning of this. Although most people/demons still say apoliges. And I think its just a habbit that you'll never grow out of, but the actions you have made will always speak louder than the apoliges you have said.

I have no examples for this. I think it makes itself clear. Don't you think so, Kit?

**"Just get on with it."**

_5) Attack from behind when you are about to kill someone; otherwise only do so when you are attacked from behind first. _

This rule is sort of trashed for Kori and all the other murderer/thiefs in the world because as she told me before: She really didn't give a rat's ass if they knew who she was.  
**  
"Yoko Kurama, stop using my name."**

Yes, Kit.

**"YOKO-"**

As I was saying before I was inturupted, read the rule.

Example # 1- Attack them from behind, so that if they don't exactley die, then they can't identify you.

Example #2- If someone attacks you, kill them. They were going to do the same to you. They deserve to die.

_6) One's death is horrible; to everyone, mine is a blessing. _

As soon as you're known, you are considered a dead man or woman or whatever you happen to be. If you happen to be infamous, as Kit, Kuro, and I used to, you're considered a blessing to be dead. Isn't that right, Kit?

**"Yep. Some were dancing in the street once they heard you were dead. Don't worry, they will never cheer again."**

On a slightly frightening yet nice note: If Kori happens to be your friend, don't worry about people like that. They won't turn up. Ever. I don't really think I can give examples for this one, so next one-

_7) Keep secrets when told to do so. _

Pretty much self explanitory, I believe.

Example # 1- If someone gives you a secret, don't tell anyone. If you do, said person or demon is allowed to come after you.

Example # 2- If you tell someone your secret, make sure you trust them. If they tell, kill them.

**"Stop staring at me like I'm something to eat, Yoko."**

I'm not staring at you.

**"Stop looking then."**

I'm not. I'm just contemplating a way of convincing you to admit that you love me.

**"You know, you're either very determined or extremley stupid."**

_8) You are not faithful friends with anyone until you know their past. _

Of course, Kuro and I had no probelem with this one. We had known eachy other since we were kids.

Kori on the other hand, was a problem. She wouldn't tell us anything.

Tip- Get to know them. Seriously. Or else you'll be always be wondering if you can trust them, especially since they have your back alot. And I can go on for hours, but that would take to long.

So, Kori-

**"Don't even start, Yoko."**

_9) Past is the past; live in the future. _

Although this is extremley hard to do, as we all make decisions we regret and we always dwell on things we shouldn't-

**"Like how you think we should be in love."**

Yes, because you love me, no matter what you say. Anyway, it should not effect what you do and keep moving along in life.

Anything you'd like to add, Kori?

**"Yes. If it's a death, mourn for a little bit. Then get up, dry your eyes, and move on."**

For a second, I though you were going to get sentimental on me, Kori.

**"Haha. Yeah, when hell freezes over."**

_10) Do anything it takes to win; don't die in vain. _

Once again, pretty self explanitory, I think.

Tip: Make sure you win if its important to you, but nothing is worse than giving up your life for that. Only give it up for a friend or lover.

_11) Thieves are cold-blooded._

That's a bunch of bull shit. Whoever said that was never a thief.

**"Right. Is that it?"**

That's all I can think of.

* * *

Now, Kori... 

**"Yoko! What do you think you're do- AHHHH!"**

**DO TO THE NATURE OF WHAT KORI AND YOKO HAPPEN TO BE DOING, BMK WILL BE HANDELING THE REST OF THE FIC**

**BMK**: Ohh... For Inari's sake, they're going at it again? Oh well, I hope you enjoyed Yoko's (sort of) handbook. Read and Review and enjoy your summer! Sayonara!


End file.
